


Desperate

by Lovefushsia



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, John pushes Sherlock, M/M, also i wrote this on new years eve, and my faves are sad, but only to help him though, i don't know what this is, i want them to be happy, it's short, please please please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9168733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovefushsia/pseuds/Lovefushsia
Summary: “I’m so sorry,” John told him, maintaining his touch. When Sherlock didn’t look away, or make any sound, John took a chance.





	

John screwed his eyes closed, seeing only Sherlock’s haggard, desperate face in his head. He let out an even more desperate cry and opened them again. Sherlock was staring blankly through the glass behind John, shaking his head a little, thin frame quivering beneath the long coat.

John moved in, shoved roughly at his shoulders – pushing Sherlock back into the wall. The taller man rebounded, shock crossing his features as John shoved again, harder, Sherlock’s head cracking back against the wall.

“No, Sherlock,” John said brokenly. “I won’t... _won’t_ let this consume you.” He didn’t let go of Sherlock, pressing him back into the wall while Sherlock writhed, wide eyed, and tried to right himself. “Look at me,” John said. “Look at _me_ , damn it!”

Slowly, Sherlock focused on John, as if seeing him for the first time, finally realising he was there. “J- John,” he murmured, voice weak and rough. “I – I had no choice.”

John was nodding, whispering, “It’s ok, it’s ok.” But it wasn’t, it would never be ok. He held Sherlock’s eyes, he had to be the one to do this, to get them through this hell. “Please, just... stay with me, here – focus. Please?”

Something about his words, his broken tone – something must have been getting through to the man. Sherlock nodded, almost imperceptibly and John felt him relax, just a bit, under his hands.

He sank slowly away from John, sliding haltingly down the wall, John let him go, watched as he slumped into a crouch. John followed, resting on one knee while he raised Sherlock’s chin slightly with two fingers. “Sherlock?” he said, a little more forcefully.

Sherlock nodded but his eyes were closed. He humphed a soft sound at John and opened his eyes to peer tiredly into John’s.

“I’m so sorry,” John told him, maintaining his touch. When Sherlock didn’t look away, or make any sound, John took a chance. He leaned in a little, rested his forehead against Sherlock’s, pressing gently – trying to give some comfort where he was sure it was impossible. “I’m so sorry.”

Their bodies shook with the force of Sherlock’s sobs. “What have I done?” he gasped out.

John had no words.

**Author's Note:**

> So I do have an idea as to what's going on here, but I can't bring myself to write it out. 
> 
> *crying in frustration while I wait for the rest of the series*


End file.
